One thing I'm dreading about maternity leave is the terrible spousal question, "What did you do today?"
It's actually not a fair question, not for stay-at-home parents, or if you simply have the day off. Just because I'm home doesn't mean I need to accomplish everything on the to-do list.
I have every second Friday off because I work 9 hour days. On those days, I rehearse in my head my response to What did you do today?
And it sucks.
It's my day off. I should be allowed to watch a marathon of Avatar: The Last Airbender on Nickelodeon if I wanted to. But no, I usually end up cleaning something, running errands, making phone calls, and cooking. I suck at cooking. I'd rather be at work.
Which is why it's not a fair question. What did I do today? I relaxed. Which made me happy. Which should make you happy. I recharged, checked out, got some sleep, read a book, played Plants vs Zombies for hours. I took the day off!
When the roles are reversed - when I'm at work and the hubby is home - I do my best to have no expectations. Yeah there are projects to do around the house. Errands to run, laundry to wash. I know to expect dirty dishes in the sink because loading and unloading the dishwasher is typically my job. And that's okay. Even if I have to keep reminding myself that it's okay.
I also vow never to ask, "What did you do today?" I'm not his boss; he's not accountable to me to get tasks done. It's better to be surprised by the empty dishwasher rather than expect it. It's the difference between appreciating the stuff he does rather than getting disappointed and starting an argument about the stuff he didn't do.
Maybe that's not revolutionary stuff. Maybe other people know this already. This one simple question What did you do today has taught me a lot on how to stay happily married. Look for the stuff your spouse does do and thank them for it. Don't focus on what they didn't do.
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