Uncle Jack's email

Oh God I can't read this without laughing. I have tears in my eyes. This is an actual, unedited email from my uncle sent to my husband. It's primarily about fantasy football. Mick, da'beers, drum, and walleye are participants in the league.

Subject: Draft Tonight

mick and i  went over what we worked out after we got all the trades
and spots settled in late june or july. i traded 2 for one with
da'beers thats how i got his 7th and he got 2 picks later than the 7th
one was only about a net gain for me of 4 spots and the other was late
but they were not my picks they were ones i got in other trades.then
we solved the problem when i was doing it monday i kept getting a skip
pick notice on top of the pick i was trying to change. i spent an hour
and a half trying to figure out why this was happening. mick tryed on
his computer and it was fine???so we went over the reasons of what you
had and like drum was on there right. we think and hope everything is
fine. i talked to walleye today to see how his asshole was are they
sent the camera up there yesterday and asked if he had a lot of milkey
fluid comming out. they also sent the camera down to the stomach which
i never heard of on the same day,i get both most years but it would be
better to get both while your out once. i can't wait to start playing
it's like you become addicted to this--and i love it.

The Dumb and Incompetent

Sometimes I wonder how people make it through life.

My life and career can be considered "sheltered" but I was always expected to pay for mistakes and operate at the top of my game 100% of the time.

So why isn't this the case with everyone else?

You know who I'm talking about.

The person who always has to be told twice.

The person who keeps emailing you even though you referred them to someone else.

The person who emails you, asking you to change one word in a document then send it back. Like your fingers are magical, and they can't make the change themselves. But they can email you.

The person who schedules a meeting but doesn't book a conference room. Duh?

The person who comes at 1:10 for a 1:00 meeting.

The person who always has computer problems no matter what machine they work on.

The person who can't follow directions.

The person who nods his head enthusiastically, but completely botches the work because he didn't understand the task.

The person who laughs at her mistakes, "OMG I did that!" but takes no effort to fix them or prevent them from happening again.

The person who complains about all the work they have to do, but when you offer to help, mysteriously have nothing to give you.

Well, you get the point, and probably have a few dozen to add to my list. I really would like to know why these people are never held accountable. When self-discipline fails, supervisors need to correct behaviors. Yet no one does ever. So the world is stuck with the dumb and incompetent, simply because no one has pushed them to improve.

I don't mind working for a boss, but sometimes, I do mind working with team members.

Pet Peeves with Customers

This post is entirely cathartic. I've always known I'm not cut out for retail, but I still sell collars anyway. I like raising money for rescues, and I like using my hobby to make money. Unfortunately that means dealing with people. So let me be clear before I launch into a tirade of complaints - I recognize all of the following are MY issues.

I can't stand it when customers....

1. Don't provide a size.
Dogs come in all shapes and sizes. Do you really think you can order a collar online and not provide a size? It says very clearly in my listings that I need a neck measurement. I don't know why Etsy doesn't have drop-down boxes at checkout; maybe they just want to make my life harder.

2. Ask 10 questions then never buy anything.
I have better things to do than answer email.

3. Tell me to use my judgement.
Okay then, based on the breed of dog and the weight, my judgement is to measure your dog's damn neck. Get out a ruler and measure the current collar if you have to.

4. Order a small, medium, or large collar.
I've had people order a small 16" collar, a large 16" collar, and a medium 19" collar. This is why I do not use subjective sizes. They mean different things to different people. If you tell me a neck measurement, I can make sure it fits and you get your money's worth.

I could say:
Small = 12-15
Medium = 14-18
Large = 17-21

But you'd still have to measure your dog's neck to know which size to order. Might as well tell me the size.

5. Ask me for free stuff.
Especially when I donate 10% of my sales each month to a different rescue. I'm happy to donate to fundraisers, but don't email me out of the blue like we know each other.  You want free stuff? Great, be one of my featured monthly rescues and make a couple Facebook postings.

6. When they completely miss the point of what I'm saying.
I get a lot of people buying for small dogs (chihuahua sized) and puppies. I write back, "Are you sure? This collar is 1" wide and is intended for dogs with neck sizes at least 12 inches."

"That's fine! Make it 12 inches then!"

"But you ordered an 8 inch collar."

"I'm sure Fluffy will grow into it!"

"I won't be able to accept returns on this."

"You've been so helpful!"

I'm not exaggerating on the exclamation points. For some reason when women email each other, it's mandatory punctuation. Anyway, I'm trying to tell them they should buy a more suitable collar,  without making it sound like I'm shoving advice and judgement down their throats. I could say, "Go buy a 1/2 or 3/4 width collar." and send a refund automatically. That's generally not accepted in the retail world though.

7. Can you make this in 3/4 width?
Kudos to you, who actually read the product description! Alas, no. I cannot change the width. Hardware, webbing, and ribbon all come in a standard size. If I could change the width, I would've said so in the listing.

8. Give an enormous amount of unnecessary information at checkout.
"Hi! OMG your collars are so cute! I want to order X for my beagle, Mr SnuggleMcPants, who has a neck size of 18 inches. He's a big boy! We rescued him 4 years ago from Super Rainbowville Canine Hero Squad, and he's been my furbaby ever since. Yesterday he was diagnosed with bad hips because he weighs so stinking much. What can I say! He likes his food. Anyway, I want to get him a new collar to cheer him up. Thanks!"

9. Ask me if it's okay before they buy something.
Yeah, this one has me puzzled. Every once in awhile, I'll get an email asking if they can purchase X collar for a neck size of 18 inches. Um, yes? Go ahead? Have at it? I never know how to respond. 

10. Ask for a matching leash after they paid.
This is another puzzler. People buy a collar, write their neck measurement in the checkout box, and also request a matching leash. During checkout. I get the payment for the collar, but never know what to do about the leash. I mean, they realize it costs more money right? Why wouldn't they email me before? The listing says, "Contact me for a matching leash!"

It's like buying several bras online and in the comments to Hanes, saying "send me the matching panties too!" Um, WTF?


I really, really suck at dealing with people.

Book Review - Redshirts

Redshirts by John Scalzi is a Star Trek satire. It makes fun of the TV show because you know if the episode started with an away mission and there was an unfamiliar ensign wearing a red shirt, he/she would be killed off before the first commercial break.

In Redshirts, the ensigns start to figure out what's going on. They even have calculated odds of survival depending on which of the senior officers are on the away mission. It's really amusing at times.

Though, the characters felt a bit incomplete. All we really knew was some the basic background story (this guy knew an obscure language, that guy came from a rich family, etc), pretty much the same you'd get in a TV series.

But it's not. It's a book. The characters had no hopes and dreams other than to stop the weird fatality rate among crew members. Like all people, they wanted to control their fate and not have it written for them by some lazy writer who didn't know how to write drama.

There's no stakes involved - other than the not dying pointless away mission deaths anymore. If they managed to stop the deaths, what then? They go about being ensigns again. Eh, boring.

The book would've been really interesting if there was a subplot going on. Like the protagonist falls in love, but is worried about him/her dying on the next away mission and must find a way to stop the mysterious deaths or watch the loved one die by ice shark attack. There needed to be some reason the ensigns wanted to live, other than, well, wanting to live. Everyone has hopes, dreams, plans, and a future. Not in this book though.

New Kitchen

We decided to remodel the kitchen this fall. Disclaimer: this is not a picture of the design, but it is a beautiful kitchen and generally shaped like ours.

Except ours has green Formica counters, green back-splash tile, dirty white cabinets, terrible linoleum floor, and a fluorescent light over the island.

It's stylin'.

Kitchen crashers? Hi, we need you.

We're on a limited budget, so the white cabinets are going to have to stay. We'll clean them with bleach and replace the hardware.

The green back-splash tile will have to go. I think we can do that ourselves though. It'll give the hubby an excuse to buy a wet saw. I also think we can replace the fluorescent light ourselves. It can't be much different than the ceiling fans. Switch out the fixture for some pendulum lights and voila. Done in 5 minutes just like the HGTV shows. ( you can laugh now)

Unlike the HGTV shows, we're probably going to need someone to do the floor. Yeah, I know, the shows make it look very easy. They also took sledgehammers to the place first and are dealing with a blank floor. I really don't want to disconnect the stove and fridge and make all those cuts around corners and small areas.

Besides, it's not just the kitchen that gets new floors. The laundry room, foyer, bathroom, closet, and yes, even the stairs. I want to rip up the carpeted stairs for hardwood. A broom and a Swiffer sound a whole lot easier than lugging the Dyson into place and attach all the accessories to clean the stairs.

Back to the kitchen, we'll replace the counters for granite, get a better kitchen sink, and I would like to replace the shitty builder-grade molding if there's money left over.

I'm not sure where to start though. With a general contractor, kitchen remodel center, or do it piecemeal hiring people as we go.

Adopt Me Collars

What a crappy picture. This is what I get for taking a picture at night, holding a floor lamp over the collar, and snapping it with my point and shoot. Despite the dark picture, you get the idea. Here is the new Adopt Me collar.

I had the ribbon specially printed for me at a whopping $2 a yard.

Eh, for what I paid, I thought the text would be brighter and the ribbon softer. The texture is rough and the words don't stand out.

Though here's the weird part - I bought 20 yards of it. It arrived 2 days ago. I'm already sold out.

I've never had anything move so fast. Not even Peeps at Easter. I don't even have it listed on Etsy. It's all through Facebook purchases.

I ordered more through a different supplier. Still red ribbon with white lettering, but at a more reasonable $.95 a yard. Hopefully it looks a little better too.

I ordered 100 yards this time.

By comparison, the most I ever ordered at one time was 12 yards of Peeps. For the more popular stuff like Whales and Anchors, I'll buy 10 yards at a time. For 95% of my ribbon purchases, I buy 5 yards.

100 yards is insane.

I have a feeling that everyone who was going to buy a collar has already purchased it, and I'm going to be giving these away for free. Maybe not though, because I haven't even listed it on Etsy, and Etsy accounts for 80% of my sales. Still, it's hard not to be nervous about 100 yards of ribbon. Either way you look at it, I'm going to be sick of this stuff. It'll either sit around, or I'll make so many collars that I don't want to see it anymore.

I'm offering certain rescues 10% off. They have to be rescues I'm familiar with or worked with in the past. Otherwise it's too much work to verify identities. Each month I approach a new rescue about doing a fundraiser on their behalf, donating 10% of the month's sales to their charity. So I'm familiar with a bunch of rescues and can give them a discount.

zee gods though. 100 yards. That's 129 collars, assuming average size necks. Or 50 leashes. That's hours at the sewing machine. I hope I made the right decision!

Book Review - Girl of Fire and Thorns

The Girl of Fire and Thorns was fantastic. I think I'm going to have to follow Rae Carson. On her Goodreads page, she lists Sharon Shinn and Tamora Pierce as her influences. That makes her pretty awesome, and she can write too!

The Girl of Fire and Thorns is about a fat, unattractive princess with a Godstone in her navel. The stone was placed there by God, marking her as a chosen bearer. At some point in her life, she'll do a great thing. It only happens once in every 4 generations, so it's a big deal.

On her 16th birthday, she is married off to the neighboring kingdom to secure an alliance in the upcoming war. She's not thrilled about it, but will do her duty. She is a princess and the Chosen one after all. During the journey, we start to see her bravery come out. She thinks fast, is very intelligent, and doesn't stop in the face of danger.

Pretty much, the character is awesome. She kicks ass throughout the novel, defeating challenge after challenge and wins the hearts of her people and the reader.

There was only one flaw in the novel that I saw. The love interest with a boy started off strange. For one, he's the same age as she is, but she sees him as a boy. He acts like he's 13 or 14. But when he admits feelings for her, she begins to feel them back. It was a weird switch for the reader to go from thinking "boy" to "love interest".

Even so, the book is awesome, the character is genius, and I can't wait to read book 2.

Book Review - Dealing With Dragons

Many people consider Dealing with Dragons to be classic YA fantasy literature. They wore out the book reading it as a kid or bought several copies of the Enchanted Forest series.

I think maybe I'm too old for the story. I enjoyed it, but it was a little childish at times. If I had to describe it in one word, it would be feminist.

Feminist propaganda for soon-to-be young adults.

Cimorene hates being a princess. She wants to learn other things like science, math, fencing, and magic. All her parents will let her learn is deportment and Latin. When she learns they arranged her marriage to some weak-willed prince, she struggles to find a way out.

A toad tells her to stop thinking about it and do something. So she goes to the dragons to be a dragon's princess. Usually that's a hated job, cleaning and cooking for a dragon, but she likes it. It's exciting.

Yeah so it's that kind of book. Talking toads, dragons, magic, wizards, witches, knights in shining armor. Not so much fantasy but fairy tale. With the morale of the story being that you have to make your own happily ever after that doesn't involve a prince.

The feminist themes were over-the-top. The dragon "king" can be either male or female, depending on who can pass a set of trial tests. Cimorene constantly sends wanna-be rescuers away. She outwits the male wizards. She rejects the other captured princesses because they embody the definition of "princess" (they act like the popular bitches in high school). She reads books, goes on quests, defends herself from attacks, even rescues a stone prince while she's at it.

I mean, it's a good character, but clearly the message is that men don't equal happiness and that you have to make your own circumstances in life. Which is true, but dang, just tell a story, will you? I think if I were younger and the message wasn't so glaringly obvious, I probably would've liked this much more.

Book Review - The Weepers

I can't tell you why I didn't like this book without discussing the ending. I liked it up until a point. I'm not going to spoil anything for you, but it will leave this review incomplete.

This is a seriously fast read. I picked it up at 9:30pm and finished it at 11:30pm. I think it's only 254 pages, but I read it on my Kindle so it's hard to know. I remember checking the progress in the first 15 minutes and seeing I was already 16% thru.

It's also a series. That's not the trouble with the ending though. There is an ending to book 1. It's just very dumb and unbelievable.

I liked how this zombie apocalypse story never used the Z word. It was a variation on the rabies virus, but didn't affect animals. People also had advanced warning and were able to build bunkers and stay in them for years. When people ran out of food though, the zombies were waiting for those bunkers to open.

The book had completely unnecessary flashbacks to the protagonist's life before the rabies happened. Yup, she was a typical teenager. She did teenage things. She had friends. I sorta figured that. I can't figure out why the author needs flashback scenes to reiterate that. Maybe they were just filler to make the book longer? The publisher needed a minimum word count?

The character development wasn't bad. The protagonist wasn't a fighter and was terrified out of her mind, but she still fought to save herself and family. Pretty cool. The hero, Joshua, was complex and bad-ass too. The other supporting characters were poorly developed in comparison.

I don't recommend this book as a must read. If you like apocalypse stories,  fast reads,. or if you had to make a choice between a bad movie or reading a book, think about reading this book. It does turn the pages pretty well, but don't expect to love it.

This is why you learn math

A recent article came out, written from a woman who had to relinquish her two year old dog because of a $4,000 vet bill she couldn't pay. She had a choice to put the dog down, or sign papers turning custody over to the vet.

In the article, she says she was given the option of paying the $4k back over a 6 month period using the Care credit card.

First, a few facts about the Care card, which I have heard of people using before. It's a special card to allow people time to repay health care costs. You can choose a repayment period of 6-24 months, no interest, provided you make the minimum monthly payments and pay it off in full by the time the period is complete.

Now, let's do some math. $4,000 over 6 months is $667 a month. If you wanted to, you could raise this money. Take a Walmart job, average pay of $11.75 an hour, and work 10 hours a week. That will get you $470 a month, minus taxes. You can make up the rest by canceling cable, your cell phone plan, cutting back at the grocery store, getting a roommate, doing online fundraisers, having a bake sale, selling off some of your stuff, or even asking family and friends to borrow $25-50 here and there with the intent to pay them back in a few months.

It's difficult, but doable. You could probably find a better job than Walmart. If you can get a waitress position where you get 4-5 tables an hour, that would double the Walmart money. Even in today's tough economy the retail and low-paying jobs are still available. The national average retail wage is over $12 an hour.

There's work that doesn't take taxes either. Cut your neighbor's lawn for $20. Clean their house for $50. Babysit or dogsit on rover.com or care.com. Peel potatoes in the back of a restaurant.

The point is, this article has hundreds of sympathetic comments to this woman's plight, but no one is doing the math. Four thousand over six months is not that bad if you are willing to work hard. Even if you are absolutely broke, there are ways to raise this money. Go to soup kitchens and food banks if you have to. Start a Chip-in account and a blog to raise money. Contact local rescues and pet stores. Negotiate a longer repayment period with Care.

This person gave up her dog because she thought $4,000 was an impossible amount. It is large, there's no denying that. Yet, this is why we learn math in schools. Just because a number is large does not mean it's impossible. There is money there in the world, my friend.  You have to go look for it, but it's there. Most definitely it's there.

Book Review - Resenting the Hero

If there ever was a case of a mismatched cover, this is it. Everything about the cover screams cutesy, fun, comical, whimsy. Yet the book inside was about life, unfairness, betrayal, power, and finding a way to make the best of out of your situation.

Resenting the Hero was a great book. I didn't want to put it down. The protagonist reminded me of myself, she was that relatable. There was one line that I absolutely loved and will have to steal for my own use. A group of people were complaining about their partners - and some of the stories were awfully tragic. They clearly wanted her to join them and also say how awful her partner was. But she couldn't relate to their stories and stuck up for her partner instead. One of them said, "How can you not react to this?"

She answered, "Because I'm a cold, heartless bitch."

Hahah how awesome is that! She wouldn't bad-mouth someone just for the sake of fitting in and wouldn't accept their scorn either!

It's a great book, and I want to get my hands on the rest of the series. I'm not sure about the cover; that didn't even happen in the story. Actually, there weren't even horses. The characters are well-developed, complex, and dynamic. It wasn't a romance, it was about two people assigned to work together, stuck together for the rest of their lives, and they find a way to make the most of it. I would read about these two characters again in a heartbeat.

Book Review - Dies the Fire

I'm realizing now that I'm probably the last person in the scifi-loving genre to read Dies the Fire by S. M Stirling. I'm going to lose all street cred when I admit I never heard of Stirling, and can't even explain the book's appearance on my bookshelf.

This book was a funky thing. I liked it. I'm trying to find anything remotely similar to it, but I can't. It's an apocalypse novel where all electricity and combustion laws of nature are changed. Gunpowder is slow-burning instead of explosive. High gas pressures cannot be reached. Pretty much anything more complicated than a water wheel doesn't work.

The explanation? Alien Space Bats. Cute, but I won't put up with that forever. There's like 6 or 8 books in this series. I think Dies the Fire can be stand alone since it has a decent ending, but if you want to keep reading about the characters, you'll probably pick up the next book.

Speaking of the characters, they were pretty awesome. There were two main ones that kept the plot moving. One was a Celtic singer, wiccan, and single mom - Juniper Mackenzie. The other was a ex-soldier, wilderness boy, and small aircraft pilot - Mike Havel. Juniper and Mike only crossed paths once or twice, but their separate stories were pretty interesting. At the time of the power loss, Juniper looked around her at the riots and devastation and got the hell out. She grabbed supplies, horses, weapons, food, and headed to her cabin in the middle of nowhere. She knew she had a group of friends (her coven) that would meet her there and they could survive whatever happened next. Lucky shit.

Mike was flying a rich family to their ranch in Montana when his small plane went down. He had to get the family and their three teenagers to safety. He eventually realizes there is nowhere safe.

At first, the book is absolutely brutal. I thought it was going to be one of those apocalypse novels that show the worst of mankind (The Road). I prefer the apocalypse stories that show humans banding together, fighting back (Falling Skies). Dies the Fire is a little bit of both. Absolutely horrific at times, and completely uplifting in others. You just have to read through it all.

The strangest thing about this book, and this is the reason I can't quite compare it to other stories, is the extreme luck and coincidence surrounding the characters. At one point, both Juniper and Mike are compared to deities because of how things always work out in their favor. Actually, if the supporting characters weren't reacting to this weird luck, I might have put down the book.

For example, one of Mike's teenagers was a Tolkien-loving archer. She had her own wooden bow and arrows and could make more. Helpful. He also came across a highly respected ferrier with great blacksmith skills, and had his own horses. Very helpful. He also finds a veterinarian who volunteered at the Renaissance festival and taught them all sword skills. Extremely helpful.

Then there's Juniper. She not only had a cabin, but hundreds of acres of farmland and woods, with natural springs and waterfalls, with seasoned logs for building, that happened to be in the one perfect spot in the USA where it doesn't get too hot or too cold and there's never droughts. And she had a group of people and horses and seeds and tons of supplies to get them started. She finds an ex-soldier and talented archer in the woods. He makes them all weapons and teaches them to use it. Within 8 months of the blackout, she and her people have livestock, crops, bread, and BLT sandwiches.

So yeah, this luck is flipping odd. I can't think of another story or novel where the main characters were blessed, for lack of a better word. I'm not sure where it is going. It's weird to find a unique plot device, and I'm oddly discomforted by it. So were the supporting characters though.

Especially since I can't help to think about what I'd do in that circumstance. Living on the East Coast in a HIGHLY populated area, I think I probably would have been killed in the second week when the neighbors raid our house for food. I have to think 95% of the population, or more, were killed before the first winter. Then there's Juniper and Mike who have luck blasting out of their butts like mini rocket ships.

I want to read the second book to see what the heck that is about.

Books on Sale

Thanks to this blog for the heads up! The following are very discounted Kindle books.

The Other Life has been on my to-read list for a while. It's another apocalypse book, but a lot of people liked it. I'm not a big fan of the bloody butterfly on the cover, but what are you gonna do.

It's available for $1.99 to own forever, or if you are an Amazon Prime member, you can borrow this book for free through the Lending Library. I ended up buying the book because I think searching the Lending Library is a massive chore. You can only look by category, not title. At least now I can let other people borrow it.

Bloody Jack is an absolute must buy. I'm not going to tell you that very often. It is a fantastic read and is available for only $1.99. Trust me, it will be the most entertaining two bucks you ever spent.

Look, if you are reading this and sitting on the fence about this book, BUY IT. I don't know what else to say to convince you. It's about an orphan girl who pretends to be a boy so she can join the Royal Navy and have a chance of something other than dying on the street.

IT IS WORTH IT.

Divorce Articles

I have a hidden hobby. I love to read divorce articles online. If the headline says:

How to get along with your ex
Top 10 reasons for divorce
How to find happiness after divorce
Children after the divorce
I hate my ex 
How divorce saved me

Or any headline with "divorce" in it, I will read the entire article. I will hover over my screen so no one knows I'm reading it either.

It's a very harmless fascination. I know how it looks, which is why I hide it from other people. Trust me, I am not nor have ever contemplated a divorce. I'm quite happy, thanks.

I think that's why it fascinates me. I read the articles, the comments, and anything the article links to. I'm not sure what I'm looking for exactly. Lessons learned? Don't make these mistakes? Where my marriage went wrong, so don't let it happen to yours?

I haven't found it. Mostly people just want to bash their ex in a very public forum like Huffington Post. They have an entire section devoted to divorce!

A lot of people blame the institution of marriage. Saying it's not natural, not how human beings were supposed to live. They blame governments and religion for forcing us into it. I don't buy that argument. Every single culture around the world, from the Amazon tribes to Inuits to Western culture and Eastern culture. Regardless of the race, nationality, religion, or culture, there is marriage. Clearly it's something human beings do.

Others blame infidelity, which yeah, I have to agree is excellent reason to split up. But even if you do divorce, you never really obtain closure from your cheating spouse. You never know what prompted them to stray in the first place, why they chose that person over you, and most likely, your cheating spouse is still in your life because of the kids. How can someone forgive under those circumstances? I don't think you can, not without counseling. And if you need counseling, you probably should work on it together, try to fix the fundamental errors in the marriage that led to the infidelity. Then you can work on forgiveness.

Or you could write an article about your cheating spouse and blast it to the world on HuffPost. Which seems to be what most people do.

Other people don't really know what happened in their marriage. After 20 or 30 years, they realized they weren't happy and wanted "freedom". While I don't agree with the saying, "marriage is work", I do believe it takes some effort and patience from both sides. From what I read, I feel like a lot of these couples simply quit on each other. Or fell into a routine of breakfast, work, dinner, chores, TV, sleep. Repeat. Instead of taking measures to break the routine, they left each other instead.

I realize there are other circumstances like drugs, alcohol, abuse, and whatnot. In those cases, run. Run, run, run.

I really haven't learned much by reading these articles. Certain things are apparent to me though. Appreciate your spouse. Maybe he didn't start dinner or take out the trash, but he did mow the lawn before napping on the couch. Maybe she left the closet door open for the 100th time that week, but she did unload the dishwasher and go to the bank for you. It's easy to see the negative aspects about each other. Make an effort to see the positive stuff.

And when your spouse wants to do something, try a new hobby, go on vacation, have a party, see a movie, or work on a house project together, the answer is always "yes". Think of it as your spouse trying to break the routine by doing something different, and they want you involved. No other answer is acceptable.

BTW if you are interested, this is my absolute favorite article on divorce.

Top 100 YA

NPR published the 100 Best Young Adult Novels established by a popular vote. I did vote for my top 10 a while back, but I was waiting for the final list to see what got picked.

I recognized a good many of these books. They are on my to-read list, or I read about them and decided I wasn't interested.

Out of the list, I read 29.

I think a lot of good books are missing, and some of the books on the list shouldn't be at all. Then again, that's expected of a popular vote.

Most notable out of the missing:
Jacky Faber series by L. A. Meyer
Ranger's Apprentice series by John Flanagan

How many have you read?

Apocalypse Supplies

I'm reading Dies the Fire, and I'm totally absorbed in it. It took a while to grow on me, but the book is sorta awesome. I'll save my review for later in the week since I'm not quite done yet. Still, it got me thinking about what if electricity and gunpowder suddenly stopped working? I still don't think that's very plausible, but hey. The book is entertaining.

First, you'd have to be one of the lucky ones to realize what happened ASAP. Which means you make a mad scramble for supplies then get out of Dodge. If you are sitting around for 3-4 days waiting for rescue or the power to come back on, you're already behind schedule. You're fleeing the urban areas with the rest of the population and competing for the same supplies.

You ain't gonna make it.

At least you have a few more weeks before the cannibals get you. Hopefully before then, you can hook up with the initial people and convince them not to make you a slave.

So let's assume you were among the first group to flee. Also let's assume you have a place to flee to. Luckily our protagonist had a few hundred acres and a cabin that was reachable by horse or bike. Well, of course she does. It wouldn't be much of a book if the main characters didn't survive.

Also let's assume your plot of land has both woods and plowable fields and fresh water springs. Which is about the equivalent of winning the Apocalypse Powerball.

I've been doing some thinking as the book progresses. Here's a minimum of what you'll need to survive in your cabin retreat. The asterisk stands for "lifetime supply".

1. Antibiotics*
2. Iodine tablets*
3. lighters and matches
4. pots and pans
5. salt*
6. pepper and other spices
7. tools - hammers, screwdrivers, saws, pliers, etc
8. farm tools - hoes, rakes, axes, shovels, etc
9. weapons
10. knives for tools, cooking, and defense
11. seeds of all varieties*
12. canning supplies
13. sugar*
14. yeast*
15. plow horses and tack
16. livestock - milch animals, chickens
17. sewing needles or clothes*
18. soap
19. Books on - hunting, cleaning game, setting snares, wilderness survival, farming, making soap and candles, weaponry and defense, agriculture, edible plants, medical first aid, veterinary first aid, etc
20. blankets
21. cellar or cave storage for extra food supplies

I debated adding these others, but eventually decided they aren't absolutely critical, but would make surviving easier.
1. fishing rods
2. dogs and cats
3.  forge and anvil
4. rope*
5. eye glasses that are indestructible

You may be wondering about a few of my choices. That's okay, you might have a different list.  I do want to explain about the dogs and cats, which today are used mostly as indoor pets. Think about them in terms of civilization though.

 I had dogs and cats on my list because history shows without dogs, human civilization would have taken much longer to develop. Dogs helped the warriors bring down more meat; better fed people led to more babies. Dogs also guarded the camp, fields, and livestock, allowing people to stop the nomad lifestyle and build more settled areas. Cats kept the vermin down, preventing diseases.

Week 9 Farm Share

Corn, peaches, cucumbers, zucchini and squash, cantaloupe, eggplant, tomatoes, garlic, potatoes, basil, bread, and eggs.

And look! I can can peaches! (English is fun)

Still don't know if I'm canning correctly. According to the website instructions, the fruit isn't supposed to float. Er, oh well. It could be peaches, it could be botulism.

Revolution

If you've been watching the Olympics, you've probably seen commercials for Revolution. It's a TV show about people who had to survive 15 years without electricity. It just sorta shut off one day and never worked again.

The is the fundamental flaw with this show, and probably why it won't have a second season. Electricity doesn't just stop working. Yes there are EMPs and high powered microwaves that can temporarily disrupt power grids. If you set off a nuke in the atmosphere, that probably will do it. People will get really sick though, and not all the electronics will be fried.

Even if you temporarily disrupt the power grid, and cyber-terrorists use that disruption to take it down, it's still repairable. They can't completely wipe out infrastructure, kill all the leaders and military, and remove any engineer who can possibly fix it.

Let's play along anyway. The national power grid doesn't work anymore. No coal, natural gas, solar, wind, geothermal, hydroelectric, or nuclear power is available. Which is a really stupid premise because what? The sun stops working? The wind doesn't blow? Rivers stop flowing? Fine, whatever, we're playing along.

So here we are. No power whatsoever. Apparently batteries are out too because we forgot all chemistry and don't have books either. Even then, EVEN THEN, people know still how to make turbines, windmills, water wheels, harness magnets and copper wire, and attach bikes to a generator or a rechargeable battery.

I assume the show is implying that electricity everywhere stopped working. Like somehow electrons were disrupted or the magnetic field. If that was true, humans couldn't survive either. Electrons are integral parts of atoms. Stuff is made up of atoms. Without atoms, no stuff.

I'm not going to talk about the lack of guns, because What-Is-That-About.

Though even after my sizable reservations about the show, I'm still willing to watch. I even picked up Dies the Fire by S.M. Stirling, which I'm told is a very similar plot. All electricity turns off suddenly and the chemistry of gunpowder is changed.

Just please, writers, please do a good job.