I don't cook.

Honestly, I'm surprised I have to keep saying this. I don't cook. It's not some feminist agenda or a refusal to be in the kitchen.

1. I'm terrible at it.

2. It doesn't interest me. Given a choice of cooking dinner and mopping the floor, I choose the floor. Both are chores.

3. My husband is a good cook.

4. Getting takeout is supporting entrepreneurs and paying them for their ability to prepare tasty food.

Yet for some reason, other women think this is something I need to address. When I tell them I don't cook, we usually launch into a series of frequently asked questions.

1. Oh but it's easy! You just boil some spaghetti, season some shrimp, and toss them together with olive oil!

Again, I don't have any interest in cooking. I don't care to learn, because I equate it with learning floor mopping techniques. I appreciate the ability of others and am happy to pay them for their skills.

2. But, but, what do you eat?

Food. Prepared by others. My husband is very talented and can whip together a meal out frozen chicken strips and whatever happens to be growing in the garden. And he can make it delicious.

3. What does your husband say?

Nothing? I walk the dog while he cooks, and I do the dishes after.

4. Is he cooking tonight?

What part of this aren't you getting.

5. Who cooks on your anniversary and other special events?

Oh you didn't mention special events ! I suddenly develop a set of skills I never bothered to cultivate and put out an entire gourmet meal of braised ribs, red roasted potatoes, lightly seasoned snow peas, and ice tea not made from a can.

Seriously, what part of this aren't you getting?

It's actually a very easy concept. We divide chores based on our strengths. He doesn't like walking the dog. I do. He lets dishes pile up in the sink. I hate that, so I load and unload the dishwasher. I have a lower threshold for clean sheets and towels, so I do those. He mows the lawn, I clean the floors, he maintains the garden, I pay the bills, he vacuums the stairs, I handle all vet appointments, etc.

The same conversation with a man goes very different.

Me: I don't cook.
Man: Why are we talking about this?

Just more proof that women are harder on each other, and that gender roles are enforced by our own gender, not because men are forcing us into the kitchen. Some women find it simply unacceptable or completely remarkable that I don't cook.

Frankly, I'm kinda tired of it.