Working from home

Today ends my second week of working 100% at home. Let me start by saying I don't regret this. It's difficult for me to move around and my ankles are swollen. I don't have to haul a lunch, laptop, gym bag, and purse to and from the parking lot everyday. I'm also less tired than I was when I was going into the office.

It sounds like an introvert's dream right? Stay at home and still get paid. I have email, instant messaging, and a phone to coordinate with coworkers.

So why am I depressed. The last time I left the house was 6 days ago. I went to the grocery store and post office. Today I get to go to my doctor's appointment and the fabric store. Tomorrow a funeral (I don't know the person, just there for friend support). I'm not even sure if my car still works.

I need to get out. Every day I dress like I might leave the house. I get a shower, put on decent clothes, slide on some slippers, and power up the laptop. It makes me feel like less of a bum. Still I need to get out of here. Even if it's just to take a mini-break from the dog.

I'm not sure why I feel like this. There's nothing for me out there. I'm too massive to enjoy walking around stores. We have Netflix so I don't need to see a movie. I can order any household supplies or whatnots from the internet. I can get takeout food, even groceries delivered from PeaPod. I don't need a haircut. I can't think of a single GOOD reason that would justify leaving the house (other than the doctor).

So why do I want out so bad.

I'm starting to get a bit concerned about this. It's only been 2 weeks. I have 12 weeks of maternity leave ahead of me after the baby is born. The first week I'll have my parents; the second week will be his parents, then nothing. He goes back to work and everyone leaves. I have to keep an infant alive by myself for 10 more weeks. At home. Not working. Just feeding and wiping butt. Never leaving or doing anything other than that.

Here's a good way to put it, stolen from here:
<blockquote>[You] are alternating between crazy excitement about finally meeting your baby and crazy panic about oh my God, you’re finally going to meet your baby and they’re going to expect that you take it home and like, keep it alive and stuff.</blockquote>

Fine. Accuse me of being melodramatic, all you experienced parents out there. But postpartum depression is a real thing. If I get this mopey before the baby is born, I imagine it'll be worse after.