I'm back!

Alright, so it's been a while since I posted anything. I have been busy not sleeping and being a human mattress for a 9lb eat/poop/cry machine.

And besides, I don't have anything to talk about other than my son. The world doesn't need another mommy blog, that's for sure.

While there are a plethora of topics running through my mind (furloughs! Are you kidding?), I haven't left the house much in the last 6 weeks, and therefore don't feel qualified to discuss anything other than eat/poop/cry.

Yes, I need to be qualified to write on my own blog. I do see the irony.

Motherhood is hard. Definitely a lot harder when you don't have an outlet to let off some steam, or just to write about the experience. I'm convinced mothers experience depression because they are tethered to a crying infant without break for weeks. Sure, you can have a life. As long as it happens within the two hour feeding window and as long as you take the baby with you.

Yes, feeding takes 45 minutes to an hour. Yes, the two hour clock starts at the beginning of the feeding not at the end. And yes, it takes 20 minutes to get the diaper bag packed, kid bundled warm, and strapped to the car seat. It feels like you only have 5 minutes to feel normal, and I usually choose to shower instead of trying to leave the house.

Hence, postpartum depression. Which for me, comes and goes. When it comes, it usually sticks around for an hour or two. It depends on how much sleep I've had, how much contact with the outside world, if I have vomit or milk stains on my clothes, if the kid screamed for hours that day, and how helpful the hubby is in the evening.

90% of the time, I enjoy maternity leave. The other 10% has me raging against societal constructs that forces women to hide indoors because we haven't showered, have vomit on our clothes, and most likely have a boob hanging out of our shirts. And the whole "Breast is Best" campaign is a massive conspiracy to force women to stay home.

I have an app on my phone that helps me track nursing times. I use it to monitor how much my baby is getting fed. Anyway, let me give you some statistics. Yesterday I nursed for 290 minutes over 5 feedings. The day before, 315 minutes for 5 feedings. 347 minutes for 5 feedings. 307 minutes for 7 feedings. That's a huge improvement too. The baby is going longer between meals. I'm down from 8 hours of nursing to 5 hours.

(These times don't include burping or butt wiping. This is straight nipple sucking. Let something suck on your nipple for 5 hours a day and see if you stay positive.)

Giving the baby a bottle takes 20-30 minutes. Think of how much free time I'd have! But no, Breast is Best.

My kid is 6 weeks old. That is both an eternity and an eye blink. He is alive and gaining weight and only screams at me half the time he's awake. I give myself an A+.